


No More Regrets, No More Tears

by enchantment



Series: Forevermore [5]
Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Angst and Humor, F/M, Family, Gen, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-04
Updated: 2013-09-04
Packaged: 2017-12-25 15:45:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/954890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enchantment/pseuds/enchantment
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The TARDIS has guarded a secret regarding Susan since the end of the Time War that not even the Doctor himself is aware of. So why hasn't the TARDIS told him and what happens when that secret is finally revealed? **Fifth of the Forevermore series**</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Author's Note: The Doctor mentioned Susan and her family in Should Old Acquaintances Be Revisited and then it made me wonder if he had ever went back to visit Susan's husband, David, and their children after the Time War. It really made me think about if he did or if he even could and that's how this story came about.  
> Disclaimer: I do not own anything in relation to Dr. Who.

It's late at night in the TARDIS, at least by Rose's internal clock, and the Doctor is lying on his back while he works on a section underneath the console and Rose assists him.

She attempts to shift herself into a more comfortable position as she has spent the past three hours sitting on the grated floor and passing him tools as needed in the hopes that once the TARDIS repair is complete that they will finally find themselves on their way to Barcelona, the planet, not the city. She has also been trying to figure out a way to broach a sensitive subject that has filled her with great curiosity ever since the Doctor had first mentioned it in passing.

"Just a few more screws to tighten and we're finished, love," declares the Doctor merrily. "Then we'll be on our way to Barcelona!"

Knowing that she'll soon lose his attention to endless babble and distractions once they land on the planet, she summons her courage and takes a deep breath and hopes for the best. "I enjoyed meeting Barbara and Ian, I'm glad that we went to see them."

"So am I," he grunts as he makes his adjustments. "At first, I didn't want to go, to see the changes in them and then have to face them seeing the changes in me."

He slides out from under the console, his face covered in grease and a manic grin. "It turned out to be brilliant though! We'll definitely have to go back and see the baby when he's born."

"He?" utters Rose in surprise. Her nervous smile turns into a slight smirk as she guesses, "So, you've been looking at their timelines then?"

"Well," admits the Doctor with a sheepish expression as he sits up and rubs the back of his neck, "I may have taken the slightest peek. I had to make sure that the wee one was going to be alright, after all. As Barbara said, we're part of his family now."

Deciding that his words would provide as good an opening as any for their conversation, Rose tentatively inquires, "Doctor, speaking of family…I know that you told me that Susan died on Gallifrey, but what about her husband and their children? Have you ever gone back and visited them?"

His smile falters a bit and the gleam in his eyes becomes a little less bright as he stands and moves away from her to grab a cloth to start wiping the grime off of his hands. He doesn't take his eyes off of the cloth as he answers stiltedly, "No…no, I haven't seen them since…the beginning of the Time War."

Rose gnaws at her bottom lip as he continues to avoid her gaze but forges ahead and resumes her line of questioning. "It's just that, you said that Susan had David and the children stay behind on Earth so they'd be safe and…"

"I know what I said, Rose!" he bites out more harshly than he intended and as he catches her shocked gaze, he realizes that he needs to try and calm down. His breathing is harsh as he storms over to the console and begins studying the monitor as he twists various dials and flicks a number of switches.

His gaze never strays from the screen and his voice is low and gruff as he states, "I'm sorry, but you have to understand how painful the subject of Susan and her family is for me." He takes another deep breath and stares at the monitor while he questions, "Why are you asking me about this?"

Rose slowly pushes herself to a standing position and she wrings her hands as she explains, "It's just that you were so happy when we were visiting with Barbara and Ian and then hearing the fondness in your voice when you spoke about Susan's children made me think…"

Her voice trails off at the hard stare that he is leveling at her but she swallows down her nervousness and boldly suggests, "I was thinking that maybe it would be nice to go and visit them?"

The silence is as cold and torturous as the Doctor's expression until he finally rasps, "Nice? You think that it would be _nice_?" He walks around the console akin to a predator stalking his prey and bearing a hint of The Oncoming Storm as he comes to stand directly in front of her.

He growls, "Do you think it would be _nice_ for me to stand before David and their children and not only tell them that their mother died but also who killed her?"

He steps closer to her and the look in his eyes causes her to recoil in fear. " _Nice_ , Rose Tyler," he hisses scornfully, "isn't exactly the word that I would use to describe that particular scenario."

The silence at the Doctor's response is deafening and the pair are only able to stand and stare at each other, each one feeling at odds at how to proceed.

Voice wavering and eyes bright with unshed tears, Rose whispers, "I was only trying to help. I know how much you miss your family," her words catch in her throat before they break off completely, "and I just thought that…"

She ends her reasoning on a sob and the Doctor's angry countenance instantly falls away to reveal a mask of pain as he draws his wife into his embrace. He holds her tightly while she cries softly and he presses kisses against the top of her head as he rocks her back and forth in an effort to soothe her.

"Rose," he hushes, "Rose, my love, I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I know that you only want to help and I appreciate that, I do, but Susan and her family are a part of my life that I try my best not to dwell on." He leans back far enough to gaze down at her apologetically and wipes away the tracks of her tears with his thumbs. "And it's not for the obvious reason."

She stares at him in confusion and with a sigh, he lowers his hands from her face to trail them down her arms and end with both of her hands enclosed in his own.

"I've already tried to visit them Rose," confesses the Doctor with a heavy heart. "I've tried over and over again, each time with failed results."

His grip on her hands tightens as he expounds, "As soon as I had recovered from my eighth regeneration, I set coordinates for 22nd century Earth to go and speak with David and the children about Susan."

The trembling in his grasp is barely noticeable but it's there, along with the tremor in his voice as he recalls the memory. "I was prepared to tell them everything. Not because I felt a need for penance or out of a familial sense of duty, but because they needed to know what happened to Susan. They had that right."

She moves her hands from within his clasp to interlock their fingers together and bring their entwined hands up between them. She presses their hands against her chest and gently questions, "So why weren't you able to go see them?"

He uses their joined hands to tug her closer and he rests his forehead against hers. "I don't know, Rose. I swear, to this very moment in time that I just don't know. Of course I've had trouble reaching my exact destinations before, you know that. But no matter what I've tried, I can't land anywhere near that time period. Every attempt that I've made results in the TARDIS either being hurled back to our previous location or we end up landing somewhere light years or millennia away."

The Doctor slowly pulls away from her and murmurs, "I just don't know why." He stalks off a few paces and tugs on his hair in frustration. "I have tried _everything_ that I know and researched _anything_ that I didn't but to no avail!"

His shoulders slump in defeat as he grieves, "It's just another way that I've failed her… just one more regret that I have to live with for the rest of my lives."

Then appearing more broken than she has ever seen him and speaking in tones more anguished than she has ever known, he reveals his darkest secret. "Do you know the worst thing of all? My greatest shame that I've carried in my hearts these past two lives?" His self-loathing is apparent as he reveals, "I'm almost grateful that Susan didn't survive the war."

Rendered speechless, Rose can only stare at him with widened eyes and shake her head in disbelief. "That way," he croaks, "I never had to tell her what I did…what I became."

Awestruck by the intensity of the raw pain radiating from her husband, Rose watches forlornly as he slowly turns from her and drones in a monotone, almost as if he's unaware that he's still speaking.

He sighs, "Rose, I'm going to lay down for awhile before we head out to Barcelona. I'm suddenly very tired."

She watches him walk down the corridor to their bedroom and it's the hardest thing that she's ever had to do. Rose Tyler isn't the type of woman to simply stand by while the man she loves suffers but in this instance, she has no choice. Their bond is new and strong and at the moment, it is completely overwhelming her with the capacity of his grief.

She is so lost in the sensation of his pain that it takes her a few moments to realize that the TARDIS has been repeatedly chiming and erratically flashing the overhead lights in an effort to capture Rose's attention.

When Rose's mind clears enough to receive the TARDIS' thought projections, she is promptly blown away by the information that is imparted to her. "What?" she gasps in shock. "Are you serious? How could you keep this from him?" demands Rose in angry accusation.

Another chime and dimming of the lights and Rose's features begin to soften in understanding as the TARDIS transmits her response. "Yeah, girl, you're right. He never would have believed you. But I'm worried about the other thing that you told me about. If the two of you couldn't make it happen then what makes you think that I can help?"

A song fills Rose's head in answer and a golden glow resonates in her eyes as comprehension rapidly dawns in her mind. "I see now. So, between the two of us, we should be able to manage it." She gently strokes the TARDIS and soothes, "Poor girl, forced to keep this secret all of this time. It couldn't have been easy on you; I know that you loved Susan as much as the Doctor did."

The TARDIS chimes gently in reply and the lights brighten considerably as Rose instructs, "As soon as he's in a deep enough sleep, you tell me what coordinates to set and whatever else that I need to do to take us there."

Rose gives the console one last reassuring pat before she gazes down the hall with strength and determination that the TARDIS hasn't seen since her human became one with her heart. "Don't worry, girl, we'll take care of this and our Doctor. The time for regrets is over."

**To be continued…**


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The TARDIS has guarded a secret regarding Susan since the end of the Time War that not even the Doctor himself is aware of. So why hasn't the TARDIS told him and what happens when that secret is finally revealed? **Fifth of the Forevermore series**

Several hours later, the Doctor reappears in the console room looking completely refreshed and ready for adventure. When he spies Rose sitting on the jump seat, he immediately rushes over to draw her into his arms and twirl her around the console. He gives her one last spin before he lets her go with a quick kiss on her lips and then he darts over to the rail and pulls on his coat.

Gazing at him in a mixture of sympathy and amusement, Rose swiftly concludes that he's chosen to ignore their previous encounter. _Typical._

He stands ready at the console and flashes a wide grin while he waggles his eyebrows and inquires, "Well, my love, are you ready for Barcelona?"

Rose's expression is hopeful as she trails her finger along the console and makes her way over to him. "Actually, Doctor, there's been a change of plans. The TARDIS and I decided to go somewhere else, someplace special to you. We've just been waiting for you to wake up."

The Doctor's eyes narrow slightly in suspicion as he inquires, "Special place?" He glances at the monitor to find a blank screen that persists in remaining that way regardless of how many adjustments that he makes to the controls. Another survey of the console reveals indecipherable readings that hide their location.

He straightens up and huffs in exasperation, "Rose, how am I supposed to judge if it's safe for us to step foot outside of these doors if I don't know where we are!"

She bears a slightly strained smile while replying, "It's supposed to be a surprise, Doctor. Besides, the TARDIS would never intentionally land us somewhere dangerous or uninhabitable. Well," she amends with a glance towards the ceiling, "unless it was somewhere that we needed to be."

One side of the Doctor's mouth tilts upward in amusement as he notes that his Rose has picked up his tendency to ramble.

"Anyway," she finishes confidently, "the TARDIS reassures me that it's perfectly safe to step outside." She extends her arm out to him and wiggles her fingers in invitation. "Trust me?"

The Doctor reaches out for her hand and brushes a soft kiss across her knuckles before readily vowing, "Always."

With clasped hands, they walk together to the TARDIS door. Suddenly, the Doctor spins around to face Rose and bouncing on his heels and cheekily asks, "Should I close my eyes?"

Her smile tightens as she gives his hand a firm squeeze and replies softly, "If you like."

He grins madly, before shutting his eyes in anticipation of what's to come, thus missing out on Rose's worried expression as she opens the door. She takes a deep breath to prepare herself and tightens her grip on his hand as she leads him outside.

Eager to prove that he's still impressive, despite his lack of sight, the Doctor keeps his eyes closed and attempts to ascertain the environment while Rose shuts the door behind her.

"Hmmm, the air seems breathable and the ground is firm." His brow furrows as he mashes the toe of his converse into the ground. "Rose, this isn't grass, this is carpet. Where are we?"

Rose urges gently, "Open your eyes, Doctor." The grin on his face quickly falls away as he opens his eyes to discover that he's standing in a room, but not just any room, Susan's living room.

"No, no, no," he whispers brokenly. "It can't be…it's not possible…" His eyes widen in panic and he scans the room once more to verify his surroundings before he rounds on his wife.

He growls, "Rose! Why did you bring me here?" He grabs her by the arms and gives her a hard shake. "What were you thinking? How could you bring me here and not warn me? How were you even able to bring me here at all?"

With a strength that belies her slight build, Rose firmly removes his crushing grip from her arms while she soothes, "Doctor, calm down. The TARDIS helped me to access Bad Wolf so that we could work together to bring you here. We wanted you to…"

His anger and subsequent outburst abruptly halts any further explanation as he shouts, "And did either of you consider asking what I wanted? How dare you presume to know what's best for me, Rose Tyler!"

He marches back over to the TARDIS to find that the door is locked and his key isn't working. The door rattles as the locking mechanism refuses to budge and it only takes a moment before his terror at the present situation causes him to start pounding on the door in earnest.

"Don't do this to me, please!" he pleads helplessly. "Let me in, damn it! I'm not ready for this!"

A voice from behind stills any additional protests from the Doctor when he hears, "Grandfather? Grandfather, is that you?"

His fists slowly uncurl and he lays his palms flat against the wood paneling as he presses his forehead against the TARDIS door. "Susan," he whispers hoarsely without turning around.

Susan finishes tying the belt of her robe that she had been donning when she had heard raised voices coming from the living room. She watches the pair standing before her with great interest. The faces may be unknown to her, but the blue police box that she once called home is unmistakable.

"Grandfather, what's wrong? Why won't the TARDIS let you inside?" She looks over at Rose in confusion, who in turn steps forward to offer her hand in introduction.

"Hello, Susan," greets Rose. "I'm Rose Tyler." She clears her throat nervously and adds, "I'm your grandfather's wife."

At Susan's shocked gasp, Rose promptly apologizes, "I'm so sorry to spring this type of news on you like this, Susan. We've only recently married but the Doctor's told me all about you." She catches a glimpse of the Doctor's rigid stance and shares, "He's missed you so much."

Susan's gaze flits back and forth with a trace of uncertainty between the pair while she takes everything in until it finally comes to rest on her grandfather. Concerned for his well-being, her eyes never leave his still frame as she graciously replies, "I'm very pleased to meet you, Rose. You'll have to forgive my surprise but I didn't realize that Grandfather was even seeing anyone."

His back still turned to her, Susan seizes the opportunity to study his latest incarnation. She notes his wild, dark hair and the worn plimsolls with a brown pin-striped suit, all hidden by a long tan overcoat. And wait a minute; didn't Janis Joplin give her that coat?

She shakes herself free of the memory and remarks, "Although judging by his appearance, I may not have seen him for quite some time."

Slowly walking towards the Doctor, Susan stops directly behind him and lays a hand on his shoulder in hopes of comforting him, only to feel him tensing up at her touch. "Grandfather," she asks tentatively, "are you alright?" Is this part of some regeneration sickness?"

He laughs mirthlessly in response. "No, I wish it was." His eyes shut tight and his voice trembles as he keeps his back to her in an effort to not break down completely. "Susan, I need you to leave the room, please, and don't come back until we've left. I shouldn't be here." Then more quietly, barely discernible, " _You_ shouldn't be here."

Susan removes her hand and questions, "But, Grandfather, why? Please tell me what's going on with you."

He fights every innate instinct within him that screams at him to turn around and comfort his granddaughter when he hears the quiver in her voice betraying her worry. "Grandfather, why won't you look at me?"

"I can't, Susan, I just can't right now." His pleas turn to outright begging. "Please, just go! _**Now!"**_

Susan slowly steps away from him and stares helplessly at Rose who gazes back at her with eyes full of empathy.

Rose moves closer to Susan while she explains, "It's not regeneration sickness, Susan. He's reacting this way because of the war."

The room falls silent. "The war?" quizzes Susan. "Are you referring to the Time War?"

Before Rose can form a reply, the Doctor whirls on her in a blind fury. "You just never learn do you, Rose Tyler? Calling forth Reapers because you saved your father? Bringing Jack back to life, except permanently, so that he can never die and now this! It doesn't matter what I say or what you've been through, does it? Exactly what will it take for you to finally understand?"

Instead of the angry or terrified response that Susan has come to expect someone to have in the face of her grandfather's wrath, she is astonished to see Rose calmly standing her ground and answering in gentle tones.

"You're the one who doesn't understand, Doctor," defends Rose. "I mentioned a war to Susan but I never said which one."

The Doctor's ire instantly dissipates to be replaced with utter confusion as he looks upon his granddaughter at last. "Susan, what do you know of the Time War?"

Susan watches him closely, her expression a mixture of perplexity and concern. "I know all about the Time War, Grandfather. I fought in it just as you did, you know that."

The Doctor merely stares at her in growing apprehension. "Susan, that's simply not possible. Once you left for Gallifrey, you remained there until the war's end."

He stumbles around mentally trying to figure out a way to reveal as little information as possible without affecting the timelines. "You didn't return to Earth at the end of the war, Susan. There were certain…circumstances that led you to remain on Gallifrey in order to keep your family safe."

Susan's eyes darken and narrow into mere slits as she processes this information before they widen in understanding. "You're not telling me everything, Grandfather. Both you and I know full well that the only way that I could _ever_ stay away from my family is if I died and I had no regenerations left. Because you know that regardless of any _circumstances_ , I would do everything in my power to find another way to keep my family safe."

"There's always another way, Grandfather," she concludes softly. " _You_ taught me that."

She finishes speaking and he watches her stare back at him while he also spies Rose standing silently by. Through their bond, he knows that all Rose wants to do is to make this better, to make him better, and believes with all of her heart that the only way that this can be accomplished is with Susan's help.

All he wants to do is grab Rose's hand and run back inside the TARDIS and leave as fast and as far away from this moment as he possibly can. Except that the TARDIS has locked him out after conspiring with his wife to bring him here, to Susan, and she's waiting for him to say something…anything. Why is every female that he's given his hearts to ganging up on him?

Impatient with her grandfather's lack of response, Susan poses, "You believe that I died in the Time War, don't you? I'm also assuming that you feel that you're visiting my past when I was alive and that's why you're not telling me anything."

He stubbornly remains silent, afraid to divulge any more information, she's guessed too much already.

Susan runs her hand through her hair in frustration and presses, "I don't understand, Grandfather. Why do you think that I was still on Gallifrey when you ended the war?"

He stays quiet but allows himself the luxury of gazing at his granddaughter once again, his little girl. His hearts break at seeing Susan's eyes fill with so much pain, worry and fear, but the emotions that pour forth aren't for her, they're for him. She was always like that, putting others ahead of herself and especially if that other person was him. He releases a heavy sigh and rubs his hands over his face merely to have them end up in his hair in a harsh tug. _What to do? What to do?_

He still has responsibilities to this universe and he needs to stand by them. However…as Susan so aptly reminded him, there is always another way. The Doctor approaches Susan as closely as he dares and somehow manages to resist the urge to reach out and embrace her one last time.

Susan knows what he's going to do and doesn't really see the need for it but it seems to be calming him down so she remains quiet and stationary to aid him in his task. Perhaps when he sees what he needs to then he'll finally make some sense.

Every possible distraction falls to the side as he focuses all of his senses and abilities on reading Susan's timelines. He doesn't miss anything, he starts at the very beginning when she was the barest spark of life in the universe, through their life on Gallifrey and their travels in the TARDIS and her life with David until he reaches the Time War. That's when he sees it, her participation in the war, when she left her family to come to the aid of Gallifrey and the universe.

He watches as it flows right up until the fatal moment when he pushed that button and then something unthinkable happens, something strange, something that he never would have predicted in all of his lives. Susan's timeline grows brighter and stronger as he follows it past her first life and onto the next and after that and so on until he eventually staggers back in utter awe and exhaustion prodding both Susan and Rose to rush up and steady him.

His mind reels at what his search has uncovered. The timelines that he had read weren't timelines that were alternates, parallels or possibilities; they were timelines that were happening right now, ones that were meant to be!

"Susan," he gasps in astonishment, "how, is this even possible? How are you here? I time locked Gallifrey myself!" His tone immediately softens as his voice becomes laced with grief. _None_ of us were meant to survive."

Susan hugs his arm gently as she continues to hold him upright. "I know, Grandfather, I didn't need the ability to read timelines to know that our end was near. The silence in my head told me the exact moment that it happened and if it weren't for David and the children and for still hearing you in my head, I would have went mad."

"You heard me?" croaks the Doctor. His eyes squeeze shut tight in pure anguish as he confesses guiltily, "And I ignored you."

Rose presses closer to his side to offer comfort and support while she explains, "He's had nightmares about the Time War since I've known him, but the ones that haunt him the most are when he hears your voice calling out to him." Rose's grip on the Doctor's arm tightens so that she can steady both herself and him when she feels the depth of his pain and desolation flooding their bond. "He didn't know that you were alive, Susan. I guarantee that he would've been here much sooner had he known."

Susan's worried expression instantly morphs into one of complete disbelief at the audacity of Rose's statement. "But how could he not know?" she argues as her gaze darts back and forth between them in confusion. "He's the reason that I'm alive now!"

The past two days have been the hardest that the Doctor has had to face in a very long time since meeting his Rose. The subject of Susan and her family, then to see her standing before him as well as the memory of Gallifrey have forced him to revisit his long-buried past of pain and loss which constantly remind him of why there are no second chances. He is more than willing to lie down and accept defeat at this point, sure in the knowledge that he is unable to take one more shock to his system. Unfortunately, he is the Doctor after all and the universe doesn't deem itself to be so kind. Thus, it is Susan's declaration that shakes the man's core but rouses the fighting spirit of the Timelord and brings it charging to the fore to settle this matter once and for all.

"Grandfather," states Susan firmly, "the only reason that I'm still alive is because you're the one who sent me back here."

He jolts upright and stumbles back a few paces in reaction to her words, shaking his head in bewilderment and denial before squeaking, _**"What?"**_

**To Be Concluded…**


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The TARDIS has guarded a secret regarding Susan since the end of the Time War that not even the Doctor himself is aware of. So why hasn't the TARDIS told him and what happens when that secret is finally revealed? **Fifth of the Forevermore series**

"I said that you're the one who sent me back, Grandfather," reiterates Susan. "But you sent me away _before_ you placed Gallifrey in a timelock."

His expression is stern and full of reproach when he admonishes, "I think that I would remember something like that, Susan!"

"Would you though, Doctor?" interjects Rose as he pivots around and turns his gaze on her. "You said yourself that you didn't expect to survive. Maybe your last regeneration wasn't stable enough to carry everything over from the previous one?"

"Your last regeneration?" asks Susan with a bit of a pout. "I missed one."

Both the Doctor and Rose smile at her remark and the break in tension is just long enough to clear the Doctor's mind so that he can finally allow himself to accept that the woman standing before him is truly his Susan, alive and well in her proper time and place and with no worry of being taken away from him.

His soft smile quickly grows into a manic grin as he marvels, "Susan, my dear, sweet, precious girl…" and proceeds to pick her up and spin her around until he sets her down to pull her into the tightest hug that he can offer her.

Laughing at her grandfather's impetuousness and in sheer delight at his lighter demeanor, Susan joyously inquires, "So, I'm still your Susan then?"

He swings her slightly back and forth in his arms while grinning madly and vowing, "No complaints from me!"

Susan pulls away and holds onto the Doctor's shoulders as she gushes, "Oh, how I've missed you, Grandfather!" Then she grabs the lapels of his coat and with a cheeky grin, she tugs on both lapels and declares, "And I've missed this coat! Can I have it back?"

"Absolutely not!" he replies at once before pulling her back into an even tighter hug than before.

She returns his embrace heartily and is instantly filled with relief that this new man, for all of his frantic mood swings and wild hair, is still the man that she remembers and loves with all of her hearts.

As the urgency of their reunion wanes, Susan pleads laughingly, "Grandfather, you have to let me go, I'm running out of air!"

Unwilling to let go of either Susan or this newfound feeling of unbridled joy and relief, and dare he even think it… _peace_ … He draws her even closer and implores, "Not just yet. _Please_ , Susan _._ Can't you simply use your extra respiratory bypass?" And so she does.

She remains burrowed into his embrace until he slowly releases her so that he can cradle her face as he wipes away her tears while allowing his own to fall freely down his face.

Once he has taken care of her, he dries his own face of tears and clears his throat. "Susan, it appears that you have some gaps in my memory to fill in for me. Now, exactly when did I send you home?"

Susan replies, "It was right before your last mission, Grandfather, the one to end the war. Your eighth self came to me that day and gave me a Vortex manipulator. You had me put it on immediately and then made me swear that I wouldn't remove it under _any_ circumstances, at least not until I arrived where you needed me to be. I tried to ask what you needed me to do but you refused to tell me anymore about what you had planned except to say that it was fitting that it should happen this way."

The Doctor pulls Rose closer to him in gratitude for her support but also for added reserve at what may come next. "What was fitting, Susan?" he asks tensely.

She stares hard at him and speaks slowly, as if afraid that by looking away from him will cause her to forget every word. "You said that when we left Gallifrey together that it felt as if you had just been born because it was the first time that you had ever felt truly alive. Then you spoke of how you much you had enjoyed the privilege of caring for me and watching over me for the majority of your first life so you deemed it appropriate that you should end your last life the same way."

Susan stops briefly to wipe away a fresh trail of tears before continuing, "Hours later, I felt a tingling throughout my body and then suddenly, I found myself back home. I knew then what you were trying to do but I also knew my duty and I was about to reverse the teleport when it hit me…the silence."

She swallows down the pain at the memory of when that moment came and comments almost as an afterthought, "It wouldn't have mattered anyway, you had obviously only ever intended it for a one time use as it hasn't worked again no matter what I've tried."

The Doctor runs his hands through his hair as he stares off far away trying to recall the memory but failing to do so. As he comes back to himself, his gaze travels back to Susan and he realizes, "So, you ended up where I needed you the most…home…away from the Daleks and safe with your family."

Rose darts a meaningful look in his direction and notes, "Well, that definitely sounds like something that you'd do."

The Doctor bears a sheepish expression as he rubs the back of his neck and remembers a Gamestation not that long ago and acknowledges, "Yeah, it does, doesn't it?"

Susan's voice becomes hard as she firmly states, "Yes, you wanted me to forego my duty as a Time Lady to defend our people and our laws against the worst enemy that we have ever had to face and instead live out the remainder of my lives with David and the children."

Her voice catches as it softens and she tells him, "And I never even had a chance to thank you for that or for anything else because right after you gave me the Vortex Manipulator, you hugged me to you and pressed a kiss against my temple and whispered 'My Susan' before telling me that you loved me and running out the door." Her gaze is slightly accusing when she mentions, "Once I was over my shock, I tried to catch you but you know you, Grandfather. There's nobody better at running than you."

Rose chuckles softly and agrees, "Now that really does sound like you."

The Doctor reaches out and grabs hold of Susan's hand and squeezes it tightly. "I'm so grateful that this happened but I still can't understand why I don't remember it."

Rose leans into his side and gives him a gentle squeeze. "Doctor, I think that I can help you there." When he stares at her in puzzlement, she divulges, "Last night when you left the console room, the TARDIS told me that Susan was alive."

Placing her hand over his mouth to prevent any interruption, Rose hurriedly carries on with her explanation. "I had the exact same reaction that you're having now and then she told me why she kept it from you."

When he continues to remain silent she reveals, "As you said, Doctor, _nobody_ was meant to survive the Time War. From what the TARDIS told me, you were barely able to fully regenerate your complete physiology, much less carry over all of your memories intact."

"Okay, fine," concedes the Doctor while trying to contain his fury, "that I understand, but why wouldn't she tell me? How could she continue to stand by and watch me suffer over the loss of my people when she knew _my granddaughter_ was alive?"

Rose moves away from the comfort of his arm and turns to face him. "She did try to tell you, Doctor. As soon as you were strong enough after your regeneration from the Time War, she tried to tell you then but every time she broached the subject of Susan, your mind practically shut down. And each time that happened, it endangered your link with the TARDIS. It became more and more fragile until she finally had to stop before it crumbled completely because it was that very link that she needed to bring you here."

Rose turns to speak to Susan as well so as not to exclude her. "You both know that the relationship between a TARDIS and her pilot is symbiotic. The TARDIS has the ability to take you where you want to go and where you need to be but she still needs her pilot." Her eyes fill with compassion and understanding as she looks at the Doctor. "As much as you wanted to tell David and the children about Susan, subconsciously, you just couldn't bring yourself to face them."

An intense look of sorrow washes over the Doctor's face as he casts a mournful gaze towards the TARDIS. "I'm so sorry, girl. I'm so sorry I wasn't as strong for you as you've had to be for me." A soft hum emanates from the TARDIS in reply to the Doctor's apology.

With a sigh of regret, the Doctor pulls Rose close and rests his forehead against hers. "Rose, my love, I don't even have the words to excuse my behavior towards you. The things that I said to you, I didn't mean them, not a single one. We are so beyond that, my Rose, beyond any past mistakes or judgments. I was angry and scared and I took it on you and I know that's no excuse and I don't expect you to forgive me right away, but I am sorry, Rose, I am so very, very sorry. Please, forgive me."

He kisses one cheek, then the other and finally, the gentlest of kisses on her mouth beseeching in action what he does not feel that he can convey with mere words. She eagerly returns his kiss, not just with love but with the promise of forgiveness and understanding before pulling back and wiping off a smudge of her lipstick on his mouth. "It's alright, Doctor. You have been hurting for so long on a level that I can barely comprehend and you were lashing out at the one person who was making you face that."

His eyes soften in relief; that is until Rose's tone becomes harsher and she starts jabbing his chest, hard, with her finger. "But don't you dare start thinking that gives you a free pass the next time you feel the need to treat me like that! You, who had Harriet Jones forced out of office when your last self told me that she was going to usher in Britain's Golden Age! Who knows what nightmare of a politician is going to take her place? And don't even get me started on Madame de Pompadour!"

At the mention of _her_ name, he slowly starts to back away, not once taking his eyes off of Rose for fear he'll miss her fatal lunge. "If saving an ordinary man like my father could destroy the world then what do you think would have come about if anything happened to Reinette on a trip in the TARDIS?"

He gradually makes his way towards Susan in search of protection as Rose drives her point home. "You were the one that said she was going to do so many important things!" Fire seems to blaze from her eyes along with a silent plea. "I don't want to be one of those couples that keep fighting about the same thing over and over again, Doctor! We can't keep throwing past mistakes in each other's faces if we ever want to have any chance of moving on so be very sure of what you want our relationship to be because if this is what you want and you act like this again, I will give you such a slap…"

At this point, the Doctor scurries all the way behind Susan and peeks over her shoulder while pleading, "No need to continue, please! Message received and understood completely!"

Susan takes in the scene before and behind her in total amusement while taking the time to wonder when the TARDIS started singing 'Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf?' While her grandfather continues to cower behind her, Susan inquires gleefully, "I take it no second chances, Rose?"

Rose declares with a smirk, "Nope," popping the p, "I'm that sort of woman."

A giggle is heard in response and the Doctor bears an affronted expression as he chastises, "Now that's rude, Susan! Just because you find my deference to Rose amusing doesn't mean that you should laugh at your poor old grandfather! Where's your allegiance?"

Susan turns to him with a quizzical stare and states, "That wasn't me, Grandfather." She hears another giggle and leans away from him to indicate with a nod of her head, "It was them."

The Doctor turns to face the culprit and becomes frozen to the spot as he spies eight children standing across the room in their pajamas. Unable to move, he simply stands there and stares at them with both hearts in his eyes, his grief at not having been able to see them all of these years as strong as thinking he had lost Susan.

The children however are galvanized into action at the sight of their great-grandfather. The oldest boy, David, points at the Doctor and shouts, "I told you it was him! Great-Grandfather, you're back!"

In mere moments, he is surrounded by a whirlwind of smiling faces all chattering wildly in unison as they clutch at his waist and legs. "Great-Grandfather, we've missed you! And Mum especially, she's missed you so much! What happened to you? You look so young and so pretty! What did you bring us?"

Rose and Susan remain off to the side with both their hearts and their eyes brimming with the emotion of the moment as they watch the Doctor kneel on the floor so that he can embrace all of the children. "David, Carole, Billie, Christopher, Ian, Sarah, Katy, Matthew! I've missed all of you too, so much!"

One by one, they all throw themselves into his arms and squeeze him tight before moving on to cling to any appendage that he may have available. When Billie runs her fingers through his hair, he crows, "I am pretty this time around, aren't I?" He waggles his eyebrows at the girls and questions, "And maybe a bit foxy?"

While the girls giggle, the ever inquisitive Ian asks his older brother, Christopher, "Aren't you only supposed to be foxy when you want to have sex?"

Purposely avoiding Susan's piercing gaze, the Doctor quickly pops up to a standing position and claps his hands together to draw their attention. "Alright everyone, let's move on, shall we? Now, this visit wasn't exactly planned so I didn't bring anything for you this time…"

Moans and groans immediately follow this statement until the Doctor shushes, "Now, now, none of that! I was about to say that I'm sure if we look hard enough in the TARDIS that we could find something for each of you. Maybe," he dangles the idea enticingly before them, "your very own TARDIS key!"

Ooohs and aaahs along with a few squeals of delight instantly greet this suggestion and it is the eldest girl, Carole, who inquires excitedly, "You mean just like Mum's?" as she points to an area of the living room.

The Doctor's gaze travels over to a corner of the room which contains a forgotten picture frame hanging on the wall that he gave Susan long ago which still proudly displays her TARDIS key. "You still have it hanging up?" he murmurs fondly. "I can't believe it, even after all of these years?"

"Of course I do," scoffs Susan. "Both you and the TARDIS were the foundation of my life and the two of you were responsible for bringing me to David." She crosses her arms and gives him an infuriating glare. "You were also both responsible for leaving me with him."

"But…but…" sputters the Doctor, "but you wanted to stay with him and…and…and you've been happy with him." Then with a trace of worry, he asks, "Haven't you?"

"Yes, Grandfather," she answers with a genuine smile, "I'm happier than I've ever been, even with you. However, it would have been nice to have been allowed to make my own decision regarding my future or at least be consulted."

She walks over to him and calmly takes his hand. "That's twice that you've sent me away, Grandfather. I know that each time you felt it was for the best but each time you made a life-altering choice for me without talking to me or even permitting me to make on my own decision."

She squeezes his hand in earnest, determination radiating from her stance to make him see reason. "I need you to swear to me, Grandfather, on all of your remaining lives if need be, but swear to me that Gallifrey was the last time that you send me away. Because I'm telling you right now that any future decision to send me to or stay anywhere or anywhen must be mine."

He hazards a glance at Rose who watches him with a knowing look as they've had the same conversation themselves that resulted in the same requested promise before Rose would consent to marry him. He stared down at Susan and knew that he didn't need to read her timelines to see that she was right, she had matured greatly over the years since he had left her with David and she was perfectly able as well as within her right to make her own choices.

He issues a sigh of surrender and does the only thing that he can do, the only thing that he really has any right to do. The Doctor nods his head in defeat and vows, "I swear on all my lives, past, present and future, that any and all decisions concerning your life will be of your own making, Susan. All I will ever offer you is my guidance when you ask of it but from the glimpse that I've seen of your life thus far, I doubt that will even be necessary."

"I'll always need you, Grandfather," assures Susan lovingly. She watches her children bouncing up and down in excitement behind the Doctor and adds, "And so will they."

He sees his great-grandchildren beaming back at him, the boys rocking back and forth on their heels while the girls tug on the ends of their hair in an effort to keep still and he grins widely as he knows he doesn't have to wonder where they received those particular traits from.

Eager to share his newfound discoveries with his great-grandfather, Ian sidles up alongside the Doctor and announces, "I've been waiting for you to come back so that I could surprise you! I've been working on something that your third self taught me and I know I have it down pat!"

He runs off down the hall as he yells, "Don't go anywhere, I'll be right back!"

Susan immediately looks to David for assistance and urges, "David…"

"I'm on it, Mum!" replies David as he darts down the hall after his brother.

Carole is the next to come forth and waits patiently for the Doctor to notice her. "Look at my scarf now, Great-Grandfather! It's at least four feet now and as you can see, I've finally mastered the cross-cable stitch!"

The Doctor glows with the satisfaction of knowing that each of his regenerations will never be truly lost as long as his progeny continue to learn and benefit from them all. "Well, then," he teases, "I guess that makes you a knit-wit!"

Carole laughs good-naturedly, at least until Sarah pokes her in the side and taunts, "Ha, ha! He called you a nit-wit!"

Carole returns her sister's mocking gaze with a condescending one of her own that would have made his Sixth incarnation puff up with pride. She corrects Sarah by noting, "That's knit with a letter k, Sarah," and smiles sweetly at the Doctor before smacking her sister on the back of the head once he turns away.

While the girls begin to bicker behind him, the Doctor turns to find the two toddlers, Katy and Matthew, rolling a cricket ball back and forth between them. "Hey, I remember that ball!" he recalls with assurance. "I thought that I lost it a long time ago but I must have just left it here after a game with the children."

"Yes, you did," states Susan rather regretfully as she gestures to indicate various parts of the living room. The Doctor and Rose both turn in complete circles as they survey the previous damage caused by the cricket ball. They notice vases that have been glued together several times over, knick-knacks with missing pieces and taped up picture frames and a set of china cabinet windows with empty panes.

Rose bites her lip to keep from laughing while the Doctor flashes a guilty smile at Susan. "Oh, I guess I did at that." He rubs the back of his neck before tugging on his ear as he offers, "Sorry about that."

Despite her strict expression, Susan laughs softly and comments, "That wasn't all that you left behind, you know. That reminds me, I'll have to give you a more extended tour of the house later so you'll know where everything is."

"Oho! So you and David finally took my advice and made the house transdimensional, did you?" queries the Doctor smugly. "It's about time with this lot running about!"

"Well, yes, we did, Grandfather, but that's not what I was referring to. We actually decided to add onto the house after the children gave David a can of shaving cream that they found onboard the TARDIS."

At the Doctor's perplexed look, Susan explains, "Thankfully, David noticed it was marked Nitro right after he pressed the button. Honestly, Grandfather, I really think it's time that you considered jettisoning Ace's room or at least locking the door."

Before the Doctor can muster a response, their attention is drawn to Katy and Matthew when they start shouting at the top of their lungs, "Dalek! Dalek!" The adults all take a step back when the shadow of what appears to be a Dalek plunger comes into their view on the corner wall.

Fortunately, the plunger belongs not to a Dalek but to the children's bathroom which David and Ian have just vacated. David is frantically waving the plunger around as he attempts to attract his mother's attention while Ian is whipping himself into an equal frenzy trying to keep his brother quiet.

"Shut up, shut up, shut up!" orders Ian as he endeavors to remove the plunger from David's grasp.

Susan's cry of, "Boys, enough!" startles them into silence although matching glares continue to dart back and forth between the boys.

She storms over to the boys and stares down Ian. "What did you do?"

Ian shifts nervously before clearing his throat and replying, "Well, as you know, we scientists tend to suffer slight drawbacks during experimentation and…"

Tired of his brother's stalling tactics, David firmly attaches the plunger over his brother's mouth and hastily explains, "Ian tried to reverse the polarity of the neutron flow but instead he reversed the toilet flow and now there's water everywhere!"

"Blech!" mutters Ian in disgust as he wipes his mouth off with his sleeve. He aims a puppy dog pout at his mother and defends, "I was only trying to be impressive like…" This time it is the Doctor who cuts off Ian's explanation as he firmly clamps a hand over the boy's mouth.

He turns to Susan and assures, "Don't you worry about a thing, Susan; I'll take care of everything." He whips out his sonic screwdriver and holds it between his teeth as he hops up and down so that he can remove his socks and shoes. "A little jiggery pokery and everything will be just fine!"

Susan's brow furrows in worry as she asks, "Are you sure, Grandfather, that you don't want to wait until David's home from his nightshift? He'll be back anytime now." She wrings her hands as she frets, "I don't want to be rude, but if I remember correctly, your plumbing skills tend to bring about an underwater menace."

"That was a long time ago," huffs the Doctor. "Besides, I can fix practically anything now. Just look at my TARDIS!"

Completely oblivious to the women's eyes widening in apprehension, the Doctor flashes a manic grin at Rose while rolling up his trouser cuffs and proclaims, "Welcome to the family, Rose Tyler! Much like the TARDIS swimming pool, you simply have to jump right in and get your feet wet!"

He unbuttons his cuffs and rolls up his sleeves as he instructs, "Come on, you lot! We're off to our next adventure!" Susan and Rose merely stand in awe of the man who has spent the morning running a gamut of emotions spanning grief, anger and joy to end it by commandeering eight tiny Time Tots to help him repair a loo.

Watching the ragtag plumbing crew leave the room, Rose and Susan simultaneously shake their heads in disbelief before their gazes meet and they break out into peals of laughter. Once they are able to calm down, Rose offers, "Susan, why don't you start making breakfast for this lot after you show me where you keep the mops and buckets? Knowing the Doctor as I do, I have a feeling that we'll need them."

Susan smirks as she acknowledges ruefully, "Knowing my children as I do, I know that we'll need them."

Biting her lip anxiously and turning serious for a moment, Susan's voice becomes grave as she shares, "Rose, I had no idea that Grandfather thought I was dead all of this time. I just thought that he needed the time to come to terms with losing Gallifrey. When I think how he's suffered needlessly…at least I knew that one day he would come back…Rose how could he stand it? How could he…"

She chokes on a sob and Rose immediately takes her into her arms until her tears subside. When she is sure that Susan is feeling stronger, Rose pulls back and tells her, "I'll admit, he's had his moments, Susan, both good and bad. But I promise you this, now that he's seen you and the children and he knows that he come back anytime, he'll definitely start to heal. All you lot will fill a void that I never could and then, well, we'll just go from there."

Susan smiles gratefully before embracing Rose one more time and whispers, "I'm so glad that he met you." However, having caught the undercurrent between the Doctor and Rose, she feels the need to ask, "Madame de Pompadour, hmmm?"

"Yes," replies Rose with a trace of bitterness.

"You know," recalls Susan, "Grandfather took me to France once when we traveled with Barbara and Ian. We landed during the Revolutionary War, I didn't care for it very much." She lays her hand on Rose's arm and confides wholeheartedly, "I much prefer London to France."

It's Rose's turn to smile in gratitude when she admits slyly, "You know what, Susan? So do I!" They giggle briefly before they head into the kitchen and Rose remarks, "We actually just came back from visiting Barbara and Ian."

"Oh, really?" exclaims Susan excitedly. "How are they? I've missed them so much!"

Rose's answer trails off as the TARDIS hums merrily as she envisions all of her children's timelines. Over time, each and every member of the household slowly unites as one unit, whether they are human, Time Lord or Lady or caught somewhere in-between. Their familial bonds hold fast even as each person follows their own strengths and passions and continues to go forward in their own beliefs.

The Doctor was finally able to continue keeping his promise to Susan to come back, yes he came back often and always with his Rose, but with no more regrets and no more tears. Though his hearts had been grieving, the TARDIS had kept on believing and waited for a young slip of a human child to make their dreams come true. A soft hum of delight resonates throughout the TARDIS as she suddenly realizes, _Hmmm, that's a bit like Cinderella._

**THE END**


End file.
